A little story I wrote for someone

This is not based on real people or events, and if you can prove it is, then up yours, I’m not getting sued because you worked out that I reference real people in it…

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Once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess called Cornface, who lived in the magical world of Oaksville. She was a run of the mill stylish teenager who was utterly in love with a musician, called, for all intents and purposes of this fictional story, Joe Willington. Joe was a hip and happening pop star with a future in music ahead of him.

Joe lived in the city of Londinium Town, across a big pond from Oaksville, infact it was so big, it was more like a lake.

Cornface and Joe had a blooming relationship of which they formed on what looked to be a spiders web, they would sit on the web for hours talking to eachother, laughing away, whilst at all times looking out for the scary spider.

One day, instead of a scary spider coming along, a haggid, old, overrated witch came along called, again for legal reasons, Kleenex Belief, and also started talking to Joe, biding for his attention. The haggid evil overrated witch couldn’t contest to Cornface’s beauty, so she put a spell on Joe, and made him fall in love with her.

This was the day Cornface became sad. Not because she used to live in this Londinium Town, but because the Joe that she was getting along with so well had been stolen by Triple-Velvet Dorothy Perkins.

Cornface then did an impression of a bird, to let everyone know that that day, would be the first day of the rest of her life, and she meant it, but there was something nigling away at her inside, reminding her of Joe Wellington, so she called her handsome, perfect in every way, the peak of physical fitness, superhero friend Sebathon to rescue her from this dark oblivion and get her Joe back, so thats exactly what he did.

With all his Call of Duty skills, Sebathon quickly dispensed of the witches head with one quick bullet from his PTRS-41 sniper rifle, and then gave Joe an antidote for the witches spell, and flew him back to Cornbreath.

The rest is unspoken, especially to someone as naive as you, but you can bet your top dollar that it included some whipped cream, a rope, and a game of monopoly.

Everyone lived happily ever after…

…apart from the witch, who was dead, thank the lord.